Here is what I have done. I went to droplet > access > reset password - I was sent the password.
I tried to login to console using
username = root
password = [password removed]

It said "access denied"

Here is what I need you to .
I need you to give me the exact SSH login so I can get in and
update my site. I don't have time to jump through a bunch of hoops.
Please help me.

Per your report I edited your comment here to remove the password but retain the content since it's relevant to your issue.

Here's the thing... DigitalOcean doesn't know your SSH password. It's simply not recorded anywhere. When you create a new droplet the system generates a temporary password that is emailed to you but not stored anywhere else aside from in your droplet and in your email. Since email is not the most secure way to share a password our system forces you to change that password the first time you log in. When you change your password this new password is not stored anywhere, a hash of it is stored within your droplet itself but DO has not access to that and could not turn it into a plaintext password even if we did.

There is a quirk of the web console that might explain the trouble you are having. It does not support copy/paste between your computer and your droplet. Since Linux systems don't provide visual feedback when you type in your password it can be easy to think that your pasted password was not accepted when in fact it was never pasted at all.